Don’t Waste Adversity
When I start a project on my farm or at my house, I usually take some time to plan before starting. I lay out the roadmap that will lead me form where I am, to where I want to be. This planning stage and the preparation that goes along with it are vitally important. Lincoln once said, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Part of this preparation is not only imagining each successful step, but the end goal as well. Everything will go great and according to plan, right?
Well, I don’t know about your life, but it rarely does on my farm. There are too many outside factors, mistakes made, or even outcomes and missteps you were unaware existed. These roadblocks have the potential to delay or even cancel your best laid plans. Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” So now you are faced with the most important part of the entire process, your response to adversity. Only you can decide if you will adapt, reset your course, and persevere. This adversity is an opportunity if viewed through the correct lenses. The obstacle you face can become the path. While the initial plan might have to change, the end goal does not. When you are facing an obstacle, there are three paths to mentally work your way through it.
- Embrace the adversity by facing them not with fear, but rather courage and confidence in your own ability to overcome it.
There is an ancient Greek parable of Hercules at the crossroads. Hercules comes to a point in his life where he must choose between Vice, a life of ease, one focused on pleasure and laziness, or Virtue, a path the promises a life of hardship and struggle, but also offers lifelong honor. Hercules bet on himself and chose Virtue, leading to a life of meaning and purpose. Through the adversity he faced, he returned stronger and more capable of the next task at hand.
2.Focus on what you can control by taking a realistic assessment of the situation and recognizing the part you played in the outcome and how you can own them on the path forward.
This is a hard one. Its easy to look around when something goes wrong and find fault. The problem with looking for fault instead of remedying the solution is that most people stop once they know where to point the finger. I would have had this, made this, achieved this, won this, if it wasn’t for this person. But how did you respond to the set back? Did you take ownership for your part in the failure? Did you learn from what went wrong? Or were you content to point to something outside of your control, toss your hands in the air and talk about what should have been instead of what is.
3.Find the opportunity.
Everything that happens in life is a new opportunity. It might be better or worse than the one you expected, but it’s still a chance to get better. This goes back to what you can control. You can control your mindset and the next step you take. You can control what you will take from a victory or a defeat and how you can use it to be better next time. Facing adversity and failing is a terrific opportunity. You have learned your weak spots and now can address them. It is an opportunity for you to choose to get better. We are not promised success, or that something will be easy, but rather we are only promised a chance at success. That is all we can ask for.
In the 1980’s our farm experienced a tornado that eliminated a number of buildings and my parents home. Rebuilding made for a tough couple of years going forward, but ultimately put our farm in a better place because we were able to invest in new buildings and homes that might not have occurred naturally. It is in this process of facing adversity, adapting and overcoming it, that we actually grow. The end goal doesn’t make us better but rather is representative of the confidence and self-worth accumulated through achievement of hard things.
The pathway to success is lost in the shuffle a lot today. We have shifted to a clip culture, one where we watch a 25 second clip on social media of the best day of someone’s life and assume that is their everyday. We don’t see the steps that lead up to their achievement, the countless hours, the stress, the questioning of the outcome but the ability to push forward anyways. Instead we see this bite sized piece and assume we saw the whole meal. It’s like judging a sport by only watching the box score. It dissolves life’s opportunities into only winning and losing, missing the slow and steady improvement that constitutes most of life’s successes.
Adversity in life is a given. It will happen. But don’t let the bumps in the road deter you from the path. Get back up, hold your head high, and move forward into this unplanned terrain. Reassess, lean on yourself, and let the obstacle become the way forward. Adversity is a terrible thing to waste.
